You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Speech’ tag.

Our country is a mess, my friends, and no president can do much about it. The economy is what you believe. You wanted change? Start believing. Read the rest of this entry »

Good morning, voters. Just last night I signed my name without pausing to 200 pieces of pending legislation, each of them crafted to meet a specific human need, but I couldn’t sign the 201st. It was a crafty piece of legislation too, I’m told, Read the rest of this entry »

Yes, we understood it was a provocative topic. That’s why we chose it. To provoke thought. Next.

No, the question is not racist. It’s a speculation about race. Let’s be clear about that. Next.

Well, because it’s frankly ridiculous to base admissions entirely on test scores. Read the rest of this entry »

The kids formed a new government yesterday after the briefest of campaigns. “Who’s bigger?” was one campaign pledge. “I’ll tell Mom,” was another. Ballots were cast verbally, sometimes face-down in the carpet, and claims of voter intimidation were resolved internally by the poll boss. Read the rest of this entry »

After childhood, joy is never pure, but this came close, I thought. Granted, it was only business. The tacky ballroom, decked out for dinner and speeches, was stuffed with stockholders and studded with corporate brass. Read the rest of this entry »

I look out over these rows of eager faces turned toward me with self-assurance, not one brow wrinkled, eyes bright with confidence in the rosy dawn of tomorrow’s inexhaustible sun and it reminds me of a joke. Read the rest of this entry »

Utterly befuddled by recent developments, incapable of crafting a simple apology that satisfies anyone, I hereby resign. I hereby resign, effective retroactively, as far back as the rules will bend without breaking. Read the rest of this entry »

Dearly beloved and others, it is with heavy hearts we gather today to mourn my passing. Mine, perhaps, is heaviest of all. I know the current fashion is to celebrate the life of the departed, Read the rest of this entry »

Slip the flat metal end into the buckle and pull the loose end to secure the belt around your hips. Get and remain comfortable. Passenger attitude is an essential component of airworthiness, Read the rest of this entry »

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