Comments on: The Mascot

By: Diamond

Diamond — Tue, 17 May 2011 17:20:02 +0000

he’s not less or more of a man, but he’s a victim; for victims sometimes gender is not the issue at all.

By: Robert Crane

Robert Crane — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 15:50:39 +0000

dave, you’ve gotta get to the jersey beach or something. don’t get me wrong. this is a brilliant piece of writing. fantastic sentences and storytelliing. but this machete stuff is taking its toll on my rather affable nature. i mean, can’t you go to the mall and write a nice story about the food court?

having said all that, don’t pay any attention to me. that’s some killer authoring, that is. how sad that he felt something less than a man when he was really quite more, if the men who tormented him were any barometer.

By: jane

jane — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 13:16:17 +0000

it was so beautiful

By: Md Muddassir shah

Md Muddassir shah — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 08:11:26 +0000

Now that is some story alright. Very tragic anda s grantman says ever since the start I had the hunch of a tragic ending

By: chosenrebel

chosenrebel — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 18:31:44 +0000

Not wrong, just different. I look forward to looking up Short Superman.

By: grantman

grantman — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 18:00:29 +0000

… most times I wonder where you are going with a piece untill I get to the end… this time however, I could see the whole journey all the way to the bitter end… sometimes we find ourselves in places we don’t want to be and there is no happy ending. While I know you enjoy most of what you write, as a writer this thought line had to be more painful that most others….
Grantman

By: Maria Thermann

Maria Thermann — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 16:52:24 +0000

I was with your protagonist for most of the way until he/you lapsed and used the words “petty ferocity” – seemed verbiage out of character. Also, had to read twice the line “…looked at me with pitying eyes, but nothing could prevent them from…” because “them” is slightly ambiguous (could be “eyes” at first reading – but maybe it’s just this foreigner being a nuisance!).

Powerful stuff and once again you have reminded us that a young person’s life in this world can be as harrowing as a horror story and that little has changed for children and young adults…they are still the victims wherever we look.

Oh, Maria, thank you so much. Your very particular reading is most welcome. I did worry about this speaker’s voice. I thought he might be long removed from the horrors of his youth, and recollecting from a safe place, much older, having studied . . . but of course I communicated none of that. I’m going to take your implied advice and give him a more even tone. You’ve done me a big service.

–David

By: Janny

Janny — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 01:06:23 +0000

As usual, you gotcha me… this was gripping… but I hope you have some exquisitely happy things to bring to my thoughts, too. I need some warm fuzzies after this one. Maybe that’s not the deal, but I can at least ask for your amazing mind to go to the happy place and share that….

thanks.

That’s not the deal, Janny, but I’ll try. Meanwhile, have you read “A Christmas Sort of Story”? It might warm you.
–David

By: chosenrebel

chosenrebel — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 02:54:12 +0000

The Xuxuu disappear and yet are ever present. Fiction here, but too close to reality for too many boys in 21st century Congo. We could escape your fiction by turning him into a Marvel Comic hero who avenges injustice with a collapsing machete that fits in a thigh harness. But that would be a comedy.

And that would be wrong, right, rebel!? (Until next time, when maybe we’ll do exactly that!) You’d be doing me a favor if you read “Short Superman” for me, just for fun. Thank you as always for your wonderful comments and support.
–David