Comments on: Tan Lines

By: Anthony Timpanelli

Anthony Timpanelli — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 04:31:01 +0000

“until he disappeared”…sneaky…it totally left my mind as the disturbing scene came into focus.

Sneaky it is, but fair, I hope.
–David

By: grantman

grantman — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 15:05:53 +0000

……and then we all grew up… Very nice story about the stages of life … I guess we all start out as innocent… would have been nice had you started the piece with him sitting alone reflecting swamp bound in a pouring rain somewhere in Southeast Asia… A place where this generation truly came understand the loss of our innocence..

Grantman

By: thomaschalfant

thomaschalfant — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 04:15:17 +0000

So Mitchell disappeared – I’m thinking the narrator killed him sometime after he “danced” with his sister?

That would be pretty dramatic! Thanks, Tom
–David

By: The Querulous Squirrel

The Querulous Squirrel — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 18:17:37 +0000

Poignant. Someday that sister is not going to forgive her brother and she’ll be telling her therapist about it and weeping with humiliation.

Yeah. So will he. Thanks Querulous.
–David

By: davehambo

davehambo — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:27:23 +0000

Adolescent guilt, strong stuff!

It sure is, Dave: fast acting, long lasting! Thank you very much for leaving your comments.
–David

By: fightforthewrite

fightforthewrite — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 19:16:56 +0000

I like that I found your blog. Shorts are my thing. I like.

Thanks for your visit and comment, fftw! I don’t know how I missed it for so long.
–David

By: petesmama

petesmama — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 17:41:21 +0000

Growing up is a difficult business. At some stage, being accepted by the cool kids is so much more important than coming from the same womb with some other person you barely know or understand. But then, do we ever really stop trying to fit in with the cool kids?

Then at other stages, we have sudden awareness of the significance of our actions. How we react determines who we are (or who we are determines how we react?). Thanks, petesmama. As far as I’m concerned, you’re one of the cool kids.
–David

By: chosenrebel

chosenrebel — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 02:33:53 +0000

A tragic story of a brother not being a brother to a sister too young to know the lecherous hearts of her brother’s friends. Here’s to 299 words helping other brothers be better protectors.

You’re an artist.

Thank you, chosenrebel, and welcome back to Very Short Novels. I’m delighted to see you don’t shrink from the risky material.
–David