Ron and Don are in the same class. Jesus wept. Lovely, youthful, naive boy-god Jesus didn’t know the half of it. I go behind the burning bush outside the cafeteria and puke. They could so easily be separated, I tell the principal in her sheer gray blouse, on whatever arbitrary protocol you usually invoke to protect the lives of teachers. The fabric of her bra includes a sparkling thread which filigrees. But pairing them will nullify them both, she says, and you will take the credit.
—According to what prolegomenous pedagogical model?
—According to I say so.
—We will never marry, you know, and this is why.
—This is not why.
Ron and Don have their heads together when I enter the classroom. The air around them sizzles. My other students watch from at least two seats away from Ron and Don except that the new boy Riley has drifted into their orbit. His hair has begun to stand. He doesn’t know why. In the time it takes me to write my name on the board with dusty red chalk, Ron disappears. The children gape past me, stricken. I smell hot sparking at my shoulder and turn. My nose brushes Ron’s nose. I ricochet backwards and, falling, snap the chalk ledge from the wall. A conversation happens in my head:
—So much for your lesson plan, darling.
—It was more of an experiment than a plan.
—I understand bold science, darling, but the downside hurt my head.
—It could have been worse.
—It may be worse. I’m still unconscious. When will you call me darling?
Ron and Don are everywhere at once and also nowhere. The more I look at them the more they dart and materialize. Riley is gone, is hiding, or has dropped out of physics forever.
Copyright © September 21, 2008 David Hodges
9 comments
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September 24, 2008 at 2:34 am
petesmama
Probably a weird comment, but I absolutely love the last sentence of this novel. Don’t ask why. I enjoyed this one immensely.
Not weird at all, petesmama. No, I won’t ask why you enjoy them, any more than I would want you to ask me why I write them. Some stories go and try to take you, some sing because they know it makes you happy, some just dance. Thank you so much for your appreciation.
–David
September 24, 2008 at 9:28 am
Wizzer at Guru fodder
Sounds like my science lessons!!!
Such beautiful detail – love the rhyming names
You had a lively class, I take it! Thanks, Wizzer. Glad you enjoyed it.
–David
September 24, 2008 at 10:03 am
grantman
..the education of two boys with autism or ADD? Teachers don’t get paid enough for what they do. I bet you could post this one on a bulletin board in any school and get more than just nodding heads of agreement from people who have been there and done that, and do it everyday!! Particularly loved the Weeping Jesus line…
grantman
Thanks, Grantman. I’m a big fan of teachers too. As for Jesus, I’ve always wanted to quote this one brief verse.
–David
September 24, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Qian
Hey, David, here I come.
First I thought it is more than 299 words because it looks longer than others. But, you made it fit in the number as always. It is amazing how you did it.
It is a very nice story. I enjoy it very much.
Hey, Qian, here I come right back. You may not be able to count on much in this world, but Very Short Novels will always be 299 words. Thanks for keeping me honest.
–David
September 24, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Jannie
Who needs a jagged-edged movie, sitting two hours for the same, yet not as long-lasting stomach-yank we can get for free here!?
Jannie
(Yes, I finally have Comments on my blog! Really — took the plunge, WordPress is kicking my ass but I’m kicking back.)
Jesus wept is a common soft expletive in Newfoundland. Cute.
A lesser writer would have messed that up, Jannie, but “common soft expletive” is about as perfect as a phrase can be. Hats off to you. Thanks.
–David
September 25, 2008 at 12:45 am
Jannie
Ah shucks, on all.
Thanks for the comment on my blog.
-Jannie
Oh, and I never knew filigree was a verb too, or if it isn’t I’m glad you made it so.
Well, of course, we all like comments. As for my policy on parts of speech, when they needs to be verbs I makes them verbs.
–David
September 25, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Teresa
Sizzling, indeed . . . well done, David.
I know I’ve done well when you tell me so, Teresa. Thanks.
–David
October 3, 2008 at 10:47 am
litlove
I don’t suppose there’s any chance of a new vsn appearing shortly, is there? Not to rush you in any way, David, just to remind you your fans miss you!
There is, in fact, Litlove. I’ve missed you too. I only hope you won’t be sorry you asked. It’s a creepy one.
–David
November 11, 2008 at 12:07 am
David H. Schleicher
This one just strikes me as so very odd…oddly amusing…oddly…I dunno…weird–so many interpretations, my mind sizzles. As the third commenter suggests, is that what it really is about? I thought something completely different…bravo. –DHS
I feel the same way trying to understand physics, David. Thanks.
–David