The kids formed a new government yesterday after the briefest of campaigns. “Who’s bigger?” was one campaign pledge. “I’ll tell Mom,” was another. Ballots were cast verbally, sometimes face-down in the carpet, and claims of voter intimidation were resolved internally by the poll boss. The whole thing was over in minutes. The newly elected leader succeeded himself into office with a ceremony at which he thanked voters for delivering him a mandate. He then proclaimed his bold vision for the future titled “How You Will Live Your Life in This House for As Long As I Am Your Brother.” You have done your part, he told constituents. Now, let me do mine. Democracy in a family only works when siblings understand their own best interests. This is not that family. You are not those siblings. Your best interest is to protect my best interests. We are entering a new era of multi-generational power sharing that promises extreme prosperity, even car keys, for those old enough to participate, but not without sacrifice. Your sacrifice. Today with your votes, you affirmed that policy. I thank you for that. I validate those results. Mom and Dad want peace, not justice. Think about it. They barely know your names. You will have noticed they do not agree on much, but in their desire for peace from you, they are unanimous. We depend on them for everything. In return, they expect us to govern ourselves and to reflect well on their parenting. In vain will you appeal directly to them; they will refer you back to me. This system can have benefits for you if you learn how to work it. Imagine for instance backing the car down the driveway into traffic. Sounds good, doesn’t it? That is all. Now get me a cookie.
Copyright © January 17, 2008 David Hodges